DB German train service

First class travel

Seriously unimpressed. 

No bloody WiFi for starters!

Who tf serves a bare three quarter cup of tea with the spoon IN the cup and coffee (evaporated) milk in first class - filthy bastards! 

Added to which the pleasant, excellent English speaking woman who came to the carriage told me she had green tea then came back with some nasty muck with fucking artificial mango (kill me now!) and citrus flavour and (unlike first class in the UK) they made me pay for the insults to my taste buds. Insult to injury the croissant was made with some nasty, probably hydrogenated fat. 

Plus, when I complained the answer was a very polite, tuff shit n fuck u!

First class? My fat, black arse! 

These guys need to seriously get back to the drawing board for first class service!

Having said that. I have to admit, I love the egalitarianism of German trains. 

There is (unlike the NL) always a buffet car.  (Like the UK) it is always situated between first and second class.  (Unlike the UK) it has tables, chairs and stools, is reasonably priced and a great place to hang out, drink beer and eat reasonable, when not good food.

But back to my smooth, quiet, if 40 minutes late train journey to Berlin. Seven hours with no WiFi was pretty shit, especially as there is free wifi all across the Dutch (& paid in UK) train services. Admittedly train travel in the UK is stupid expensive and the Dutch just really aren't that pleasant to travel with.

When I was younger, I nearly always had great conversations with people I met on (German, Italian, French, UK) trains. Now, (mostly in NL) whenever possible, I travel first class; read and write  in splendid (if sometimes lonely) isolation and think back to my past, financially poorer but richer in experience.

Salmuera, Rozengracht 106h Amsterdam

An interesting mix. The food is great. The service is friendly but inefficient. The staff don't really listen and we spent a lot of time either waiting or waving. I didn't think the chipotle margueritas were fantastic have had tastier and cheaper,  these, at ten euros a pop really should be better.
They were pretty rubbish with the ordering, which is to say ordering dinner was not much short of disastrous. Mainly because the waitress was not really listening or interested. Having said that after we ordered she never came back to the table! We said the only thing we thought was important to arrive first - before the warm food was the ceviche.

They instead brought everything 'they had decided' was a starter first, including warm food. It was inaccurately distributed around the table but actually most of the 'starters' were the main dish of one of us. I wasn't having a starter so 25 minutes after it was served and I was trying desperately not to pick at my companions main meal we had to ask them to bring the rest of the food because apparently they have a policy of waiting until the starter is cleared before bringing the main!

 I ordered 300 grams of baby pig which would probably have been too much but they charged me for 400grams so I am giving them the benefit of the doubt that that is what I got! It was a lot of meat. Just meat, there was a grilled tomato with the steak but there was not a sign of any kind of garnish on my board. There was super soft and tender, lean and fatty meat, on and off the bone as well as a piece of crackling - not the most crackly I've eaten but damn good to get any in the NL!

It was too dark at the table to see well. The roast vegetables were served in what looked like a coffee cup. There was peppers, courgette, asparagus, I think aubergine but it was hard to tell and it didn't look great. The green salad was .50 cheaper, looked much better though I didn't like the dressing - if I had ordered it I would have asked for just oil and lemon - it had olives and mixed greens, it was good.

The quesedillas were fabulous, served with guacamole, beans, sauce and garnish. Not much you can do say about an empanada this one was with raisins and cheese so there was no way I was trying it. The English style with ham cheese and mushrooms sounded right in my line. Beef eaters rave about the beef. The sirloin was tasty, thick, perfectly rare with a lovely smudge of fat to one side.

Again we had to beg to be served dessert, the dulce de leche (I think it's filthy in general) went down well with a comment of 'a little bit too sweet' and 'it's a smaller portion than the chocolate cheesecake'(!) which was ordered to take away - not for the first time. It seems to be the dessert to go for. I rarely do desserts, so I can only go by my companions opinions.

I really enjoyed the Malbec we drank, the Don Julio viejo was unimpressive and served with orange and cinnamon (yak!) I asked for orange & chilli which is what they advertise they serve their tequila with.

None of the hot stuff was hot as far as I'm concerned. Nicely spicy but not hot, very disappointing.

I would go again but there were a few things that irked me. When I went in I told them we had reserved a table and what the name was. I was placed in the noisy entry section next to a large office party with loud music playing. When my companion arrived who had booked the table, they recognised her and we were moved to the much quieter and pleasant back room - which had at least three free tables, which I clearly had not deserved one of!

When we commented on the scattered service and long waits only alleviated by waving madly, at first there was denial, then defence, then a plan to find a scapegoat and make them culpable.

It's worth going for the food and I'm sure most people will be so happy with the friendliness of the staff their slackness and the other stuff won't be an issue.

Stockbridge Market

A market needs to either have charm/atmosphere or be functional and/or profitable. With a little more space inside but without doubt all around the outer edges Stockbridge market has all three (4!)

a mixture of luxuries/gifts, art and (cooked) food, the clothing is novelty and/or specialist e.g wool 'chicken' hats, knock off M&S cashmere.

There is so much to see and admire but, it is so busy, with people buying their specialist cheeses, meats, olives and bread (for their gourmet work sarnies), organic veg, condiments and of course eating that it is strenuous to negotiate.

We missed the pulled pork! The queue was actually one of the shorter ones, then I shillied and shallied, dillied, then it was all finished and I was gutted. However the people running the store were a wonder to behold, shit hot planners and executors of the market trade. While most of the food stalls were visibly under stress, the Pulled Pork people has their system DOWN! As I said no long lines, they maintained a level of clockwork efficiency that waxes here lyrical. Repaid by being able to pack up early, (efficiently), clearly harmoniously and happily completely sold out.

The brownie lady put up a sign 'away for 5 minutes'. I checked back 4x and tried to have a giggle (joke/contact) with all the other people who came up in the (timed) 90 seconds I waited. the results Yes/No Scots 60/40, Spanish (speakers) 85/15, Yanks 0/100, English accent (English or Edinburgh) 20/80 - she didn't show up.

Had a lovely exchange with the guy at Fishuality - will do a separate blog on him and his artwork. There was a cheese and meat stall that was pristine. Everything looked fabulous - products, display, it took a while to get a photo of it, there was a supper chatty very helpful, lovely lass selling couture skin products.

boThe art is varied, lots of painting, jewellery, sewing. One woman with some quite exquisite work should either be nicer to her customers - I had to buy one piece and would have ught two but she was such a **** - or she's a bigot and she didn't allow photos!
The paella was the most popular dish everywhere you looked  (there were lots of Spanish speaking people) people carried the well sized containers packed with fluffy, golden-yellow rice all around the outside of the beautiful, tree'y, green, stoned walled and stepped, metal fenced space to sit and enjoy. The portions were unfortunately too large for my desires for the evening!!

In the end I had the gyoza's 6 for 5 quid - they were not great but may have been better early before the guy cooking them got the totally stressed out energy in which they were prepared. One of my imagination fairy's got forebodings at the well planned but stressy execution of the big white man and the two functioning nervously on automatic pilot small South East Asian women 'working efficiently....

I loved all the many different paintings of Scottish cows (kooos), but only took a photo of one because the lass was super friendly and helpful
"All the paintings are on the website, here's the card, don't use up your phone storage!"

Shyam Mehta - master thief!

What a rip off!

I am so angry I can barely write

This guy describes himself as a yogi but he is just a thieving, talentless swindler!

The book is not a book it is a pamphlet with a cheap, meaningless picture of some flowers and an old metal watering can on the cover. The 'Stories' in total cover 8 pages - with double line spaces between every line - Actually probably about 3 real pages of story in total!

The vast majority of the book itself is lists of other titles (single line spacing) with ISBN numbers and blank pages!

I bought the Spanish edition to read while baby sitting friend's children. Total reading time not even 15 minutes - in a language I am not brilliant at!

There is more detail and better story telling on the last page where this Cambridge crook waxes lyrical about himself. 

Despite his Christian upbringing in England he has the gall to describe himself as a yogi and an Easterner. He not a fan of 'Western modern influences' but he sure as hell knows how to play the capitalism game for all it's worth

He guffs about children needing love and happiness in their lives which if you're robbing their carers and parents is utter bullshit.

The children were at best sorely disappointed, very frustrated and didn't find the tales lovely at all "silly," "boring", "too short", were their words, with lots of "No!"'s and "Is that it?"'s.

It was a full 15 minutes of misery just before bed time!

"Irritating beyond words, pompous, banal" in my words.

This excuse for a piece of humanity is clearly in for some serious karmic  backlash

Exhibition "Stilte" @ Galerie de Witte Voet

It must be said; I do have a penchant for the curating of Siobhan Wall!

Quiet/Stilte is to be seen until the 14th of August - I am still undecided and sorely tempted to attend the finnisage, despite the challenges to do so!

Unfortunately the gallery still have info about the last exhibition on the website - hopefully that will change soon!

This exhibition satisfies my heart in many different ways - Firstly because it is three women, secondly, thirdly enz. because the contrasts between the works, the quality of the works, the calibre of the artists and the emotional gamut that they draw the observer through are of the highest order.

The paintings of Tamar Rozenblat are evocative, intricate, monochrome, adventures that throw you into a weird, but strangely recognisable landscape or flick your eyes, is it representation of bubbles, DNA, ideas, concepts? all of them, what ever you like. Inside and also in the garden the black backgrounds, net'ie or stark outlines tell little stories as do the works of all these artists

Sujata Majumdar is one of very few photographers who work is without question art. The photos look like paintings. Simply mounted, layered landscapes. Representations of moments, spaces. Subtle observations that seem to speak.

Siobhan Wall's work at this exhibition is powerful, intense, dark, sombre, sometimes a bit scary and again sooo recognisable. The moments you know you are falling apart and just have to keep going, keep it together, blur yourself to serve your surroundings. Or maybe that is just what I see.

This is an exhibition I would really like to recommend women go and see, having said that there is no earthly reason why men shouldn't go or wouldn't appreciate in the same way.

Even at an opening, surrounded by chatter and laughter and the clinking and slurping of drinks each thoughtfully chosen and placed piece, pulls you into a moment where the background noise disappears.


All the pieces in this show placed before me the recognition of the importance of silence and quiet, making their absence and the challenge of finding and creating quiet moments in our lives so poignant, so present, so current, so real.

Dabka Restaurant - Nieuwezijdskolk

What a rip off!

Dreadful food, horrible service

Before I went to the restaurant I checked a couple of reviews. One thought it was great, one thought it was over priced and noisy both said the staff were great and very friendly.

Was with a large party and from the outset, the staff did not seem happy about it. I asked immediately for a separate bill, when I went to order some food - didn't want to join in the  bill sharing, I was told that my drinks had been added to the tables bill and it was 'too late' for a separate bill now.

The waiting staff are not unfriendly, but they are also not very good at their jobs - most orders took and age. They couldn't remember that one end of the table was ordering wine and the other end of the table beer - unintentional but it should have made it easy for them to deliver the drinks. Instead, after the drinks sat on the bar (arms reach away!) for 10 minutes - the wine getting warm, the beer getting flat!, they would wander up and down the table.

They didn't have any flat bread (in a Middle Eastern restaurant!). The bread they did bring took 25 minutes and was undercooked! (Can't cook bread in a Middle Eastern restaurant!)

What pissed me off the most was that more than a third of our order was swept off the table with the food still on it! All the salads were cleared away all the dips that came with other things were whipped off the table as soon as whatever they had been served with was eaten. e.g. Kibbneh come with a huge dollop of delicious yoghurt sauce, much more than you need for the measly four they give you. As soon as they were gone the waitress - despite being asked twice not to clear plates with food on them without asking - would sneak in and run off with it.

When I asked them not to clear plates with food on, without asking the waiter immediately came up asked if he could take a plate - there was an empty serving plate in front of me but he also took the plate I was eating from!

When they said they didn't have to type of bread we wanted, I asked the waitress what kind of bread they were offering - she couldn't tell me or describe it apart from to say "You want a sort of Lebanese bread that we don't have, we have another also Lebanese bread, cooked fresh." I asked her in Dutch and English if she a bit more of a description and she just repeated the last four words like either she thought I was mentally retarded or she actually is.

The salads are tasty - but I have better, cheaper elsewhere in the city. They tasted pre prepared rather than fresh which makes you wonder why it takes so long to put some slush on a plate.

The meat was appalling, absolutely dreadful, over cooked, tough and bloody cold!

The woman who complained about the air conditioner - it was not even vaguely warm last night was completely on the ball.

My only assumption is that the people who rave about it, don't know jack shit about Middle Eastern food - or any food or good service in general!

The two waitresses are great to look at. One was blonde, Polish (I asked) and didn't speak much Dutch(!) The other was dark haired, arrogant, rude, surly and generally seemed to feel that she was doing us a favour when she deigned to listen; lots of eye rolling and hair tossing when something was ordered.

Most importantly they were slow. Maybe because all three were so busy with their mutual admiration society, the customers came a distinct second!
 

Camper Place, mini camping Lithuania

Not only the best, also the friendliest, nicest and cheapest place we stayed and although most things are works in progress it had the best facilities. Two large, clean, airy shower/wc's one with a guests washing machine (€3) and another toilet at the reception cum bad weather hang out and apothecary!

There are two distinct camping areas to the East and West of the house. The one on the West has two rows of evergreens which provide shade for the vast majority of the day.

We chose the West side which had the best cherry trees, the strawberries, plus a table and two benches

There are numerous cherry trees, plus strawberries, herbs, n veg. We were told to help ourselves to herbs and fruit - in a year when Daiva has been working on them they are (may be) sold.

The hospitality of Kees and Daiva is mind boggling, it would be exceptional in the Netherlands, in Lithuania it was like entering a magical world. 

Daiva an ex teacher has encyclopedic knowledge of the local flora, great relationships with the local fauna, including a family of hedgehogs, a grass snake, cats, a dog, sparrows, swallows, flies and mozzies!

This was the first ever designated camper site in Lithuania. The main difference between this one and all the others that we stayed at was the intention. It is not perfect, many things show the lack of available capital, with inventiveness and creativity often replacing professionalism. In contrast to some places where the cash obviously flowed like water into the projects, the clearly felt aim here is to give the guests the best possible (ecological) experience of the camping, the hosts and Lithuania. e.g. This was the only campsite with soap, where the w.c. and hand paper didn't run out! One other had dispensers (for show or summer maybe). On arrival Daiva brought us a cup of her excellent 'abracadabra' (same term in Lithuanian!) herbal tea with a massive teaspoonful of creamy honey.

Daiva has made a hand drawn map of the locale, she collects, dries, packages and sells local plants providing the Latin name and where possible the name in up to 7 languages, there is also (cheap!) delicious, natural honey from their farm available.

There are numerous rave reviews of the site and Kees and Daiva. Having described the place as perfection - my idea of being told to eat as many cherries as I want and can - and heaven - getting to sit in shade, with wifi, cherries, strawberries, local beer and having no time on the internet due to the possibility to learn from a generous master! The least I can do is add my own praise

Europos Parkas

An expensive day out by general Lithuanian standards: €8 entry pp €2 parking €1.50 to take photos!

Like so many things here excluding the nature, disappointing. 

The park is beautifully laid out. Huge, generous grounds, lots of space for each art work, carefully placed within an environment. Lovely walks from one piece to the next, nice mixtures of shade and sunlight. 

It's silly things like the silver plates with artist info, some unreadable cos of the sun reflection, even more are faded. 

Lots of what I call 'wank art'; (popular?) artists who get huge grants and make big HUGE meaningless crap instead of small meaningless crap that they can bullshit about til the cows come home about.

The aforesaid are interspersed with deep, amazing, clever, tricksy, subtle pieces.

You can buy a postcard to send to friends with a special postmark for Europe it costs €2! 

The lady at the gate recommended the restaurant, which is over priced, has a very badly translated menu and nothing we were interested in (e.g. soup of the day?!) is available today. The waitress speaks fair American English, she is polite but typifies my experience of Lithuanian attitude in a sort of off hand coldness, that doesn't invite any attempt at warmth or friendliness and doesn't issue any. 

Our visit is cut short by my mate (who is always late insisting we return to Vilinius exactly at five - I said we'd be back 'around 5' - got phoned at 1 minute to. 

Himself didn't mind was already fed up of my commentary

I didn't take photos of the pieces I really disliked!

 

Rinkusˇkiai Restoranas Alaus Kelias

We are staying in a fab campsite with no eating facilities, it was super hot and I felt disinclined to cook, so we decided to have huge bought lunches and easy evening meals (hence some weight loss).

We picked a brewery to go to with a well recommended restaurant attached.

When I saw the building, the full car park and the car loads of trendy, budding Lithuanian elite, I tried to persuade Himself that we should go and look for the other place our hosts had suggested to eat at. Luckily for me, its proximity to the brewery and his hunger (due to my tardiness with time) meant that he over ruled me. "Just have a look at the menu and if you hate it I will just have a kvass n you can hv a beer!"

First the waiter surprised me; professional, open, polite, helpful, eager to be of service, no hint of attitude, toadying, patronising or arrogance - the kind of waiting on that Americans hope/dream of giving, that Germans and Austrians take for granted.

I will start with the pointers for improvement so I can freely wax lyrical about everything else.

The net chairs outside are too low for the tables. I noticed it as soon as I sat down and  my deep dish of soup compounded the issue!

The waiter didn't gone back often enough and left too soon missing orders for at least three drinks, another kvass for Himself and my usual 2 glasses of wine. I did get a last beer for during the brewery visit.

I got a completely different meal to the one I ordered! Didn't matter, however both were supposed to be served with mash. What I got came with very bad chips. Unfortunately the roast potatoes that came with the lunch ordered by Himself were also way below par for the rest of the meal.

Complaints over! More or less. 

I started with a beer an Alaus kelias and Himself a kvass* both were delicious. I can't do kvass when I'm wanting alcohol but for a refreshing non alcoholic drink, I haven't found much better.

We ordered, me, Thai tom yum, Himself, beetroot soup. The beetroot soup was mild, earthy, thin, creamy, light, a gorgeous purply pink colour, flavoured with dill, cucumber, a half boiled egg and served with hot boiled potatoes with a dill garnish.

My tom yum was pinky red, richly filled with carrot, paprika, mushrooms, I think there was pesto or something like it. It arrived with a green oily dollop that looked great but as far as I could tell left no trace of flavour. Though the soup was tasty, spicy, well flavoured none of the usual Thai flavours (lemon grass, laos, lime leaves) jumped out and I had to add some of my own chillis in oil to get it up to speed. All that not withstanding, the soup was a perfect introduction to Asian flavours and warmth for unaccustomed palettes and those, like Himself who like spice but mild.

I ordered pork tenderloin with prune sauce, roasted garlic, cheese crisps and mash with a side of vegetables. I got grilled tenderloin, with peas, (dried) cherry tomatoes, crispy bacon, horseradish sauce and mash.

As I said the mash was marked by its non appearance, the peas were very badly cooked, I am guessing by their cracked bullet like exterior either reheated or not cooked in water.

Himself ordered the ribs supposedly with vegetables and wedges. The wedges were (old) roasters which like the chips we took one look at and left to their own devices! The veg was sauerkraut. 

Let's please ignore the supreme let down of the veg. The sauerkraut went amazingly with my pork tenderloin, far better than with the ribs, the dried cherry tomatoes were actually perfectly roasted as was the bacon garnish. The horse radish sauce was unnecessary and didn't contrast brilliantly with the drizzle of light beer marinade.

Ignore everything else I have said about the meal because everything I have mentioned faded into insignificance with the meat. When I put a piece of the ribs in my mouth I felt pity for every practicing Jew, Muslim, Hindu, 7th Day Adventist and all the other non pig eaters of the world ever born!  At the same time my mouth sent praise thanks and gratitude to the pig eating forest dwellers of Northern Europe! Both ribs and tenderloin were delectable perfection. So well cooked, moist, aromatic, tasty but with completely different textures, flavours and feel in the mouth. Generous portions without being over the top, that completely satisfied. The side order of vegetables were a good sized bowl of the mind bogglingly delicious Lithuanian cucumbers, sun ripened tomatoes, just enough red onion and a simple vinaigrette, it was the perfect accompaniment to both meats, especially considering the state of the spuds!

Everything I read agrees with me, this us an excellent place to eat. Most say it is more international than Lithanian I think it's fusion, which takes the best of traditional Lithuanian cooking - methods, ingredients and international standard recipes and ingredients and gives them a tweak in each other's direction.

Dé Marokkaan - Hoofdweg 642-644, 1055 AB Amsterdam

This is yet another one of the shops in BoLo that I am sooooo DONE with.
If you buy meat, you always end up with an extra, useless piece of bone and or scraggy flesh in it that makes it cost the same cost as buying it in any other butcher - totally defeating the object of going there to buy cheap meat! Plus non Muslim/Moroccans get shunted to the back of the queue with each aforementioned group's new arrival - with no apology and when I said something about it, the information that Moroccans/Muslims could expect (to receive) 'voorrang' (precedence) and  if I didn't like it Ididn't have to shop there.
Which is the issue, clearly these people do NOT WANT my custom.
I (as is the law now) have to ask and pay for a plastic bag, all 'desired' customers are still given one automatically and free of charge!
My last condemnation is the sliding pricing scale they try very hard to hide but not well enough - including me being charged more for yoghurt (no price by or on the shelf) and more per kilo for the loose almonds a) than it said on the ticket and b) than the two people before me.
How do I know this? Both of them were given receipts, which they left, I took them and checked my receipt against theirs. We had all bought almonds, we had all bought the same yoghurt, they had prices in common on their tickets, all my prices were higher and none of them were the same as anything on the other two receipts, though they had prices in common!
In short fabulous, cheap meat and provisions if you are in the IN group - shop at the Dirk van den Broek round the corner, on the market or go to the East for good prices if you are not!

Optifit bra

 

I have been looking for a good bra for years. In between bouts of raging at the sellers of the instruments of torture that we are currently mostly forced into. I listened to the outer and inner voices that told me that my body/breasts were wrong

The thought of having a bra that fits well is almost beyond my imagining. A few years ago I decided that I wasn't going to wear bra's any more. The underwires, were cutting into me and the skin next to my armpit and under my boobs was starting to look like I had developed my own manner of self mutilation. 

The very expensive bra's I was forced to buy had to be replaced at least three times a year and only because the underwires would fight their way out of the upper closure. There was no way to get them to stay in once they were through the fabric. I spent probably weeks over the years sewing tiny pieces of material onto the ends of the sockets only to have them wear through. I bought plastic tips which were supposed to keep them in but they (like pretty much every thing in the clothes market) were made for a smaller size.

I managed around 6 weeks without a bra in the NL - I often don't wear one in the UK when I am there and it is not a problem - the visious stares and pseudo sotto voce nasty comments wore me down and I began to search for bra's with no underwires. After three disatrous attempts to get them from the states I eventually bought one from the UK - all of them were too small, all of them were around the 50 euro mark - not including postage.

Having started a proper job I knew I needed to find a new bra solution. For years I have tried to find a made to measure bra company that I could afford. The average quoted price was around 300 pounds and always with underwires.

Then a few weeks ago I came across optifit. It seemed a bit good to be true. But I contacted the number and had the most amazing conversation with Sue McDonald the co owner of the business and designer of the bras http://www.optifitbra.com/. 

We talked about fashion, history, the (ab)use of women's body to sell products that damage and cause pain, the ignored body/breast shape differences and the abnormalizing of non European body shapes/sizes. Amazing! 

You can check out the piece I wrote after my first conversation with her at Goddess is anima. 

Sue said the best thing for your boobs, back, hips, shoulders whatever your breast shape and size is not to wear a bra! 

But as we are suckers for our own (and each other's) oppression. She sent me the info and instrument (optimeasure) to measure my boobs. 

Everything comes in these gorgeous shiny purple envelopes. When the measure arrived I looked at if for the best part of a week before getting it out. While waiting I checked out the videos on you tube. When I opened my package I knew what I was getting and what I was supposed to do with it - and it still wasn't easy. as suggested i did it three times my self and then another three times with my partner

I have to say that while it was really easy and super efficient to put my measurements onto the website (and Sue had seen them the next morning when I phoned), I couldn't work out how to place an order for a bra, so I phoned to give her the credit card details. 

After our first conversation I felt very secure about phoning Sue again and chatting with her. She really is always willing to help - she didn't agree with my measurements and made a couple of alterations. The bra arrived within a week of ordering and again it took me quite a while of looking at the envelope before I dared open it - I was really nervous about being disapointed again.

So now into my second week of wearing the bra and just about to order another I realised I hadn't actually written the three part blog I was intending with tales of finding, measuring and fitting.

another phone conversation and the sending of some photos was necessary to reassure me (though I am not convinced) that the bra is the right size. We agreed some slight adjustments for the next order as I was not going to send it back to be altered - it will do, it's better than anything else I've got or have had for a long while.

I have the best shape I have ever had with a bra. There are no underwires and no scarring but I still can't wait to get in a take it off when I get home (Free the Two!) After an all night party I was very aware of the upper back/shoulder ache that Sue says is to do with my body being pushed into better alignment

Did I say that these made to measure miracles are under the 60 euro mark at 50 pounds - plus postage - which I guessed and over payed for the bra - but the 'optimeasure' was sent for free and cost more than the bra to post!

Club AIR, Amstelstraat 16, 1017 DA Amsterdam, Netherlands - Moda Black - 26 March 2016

What a horrible, nasty, shitty, shitty club.
Rip off puck up joint!
Staff are rubbish. Unfriendly, unhelpful and bar service is miserable, slow. They let people push in front all the time at the entrance and at the bar.
To add insult to injury neither dj could spin! The bar upstairs was some excuse playing uninspiring records and spending most of his time at the bar. downstairs the vj was banal, offensively sexist and not even hot - which would have excused the sexism. The two dancers couldn't dance and the dj was worse than my four year old nephew. We did our best but dancing was pretty impossible to such mediocre mixing.
Which might not be a problem as no one seems to go there to dance anyway!
I should probably add that a friend with us - Polish living in UK was upset by the obvious racism of both staff and clientèle towards people of colour throughout the place!

De Betere Tijden, Gelkingestraat 21, 9711 NA Groningen, Netherlands

Nice, friendly, good service.
Food is OK, not special but, a very reasonable price most around 10 euros. In comparison I thought the Chef's special at 12.50 was over priced (absolutely not complaining!) Not generous portions definitely adequate.
I asked about the changing stuffing on the mushroom and was told red peppers (paprika) and pesto - I checked if it was basil pesto (yes) which struck me as not something I was even willing to try!
I really don't understand burgers with no flavouring but that is apparently how people make them here. A slab of lightly cooked mince with not even salt and pepper doesn't do it for me
We had 6 burgers, with (bad, cheap) cheddar and roseval potatoes which were cooked but still pale. I don't do bread, without the generous crusty bap, the patty looked quite sad. There was no lettuce or tomato, gherkin, ketchup, or mayo with the burger, a goodly side garnish kinda made up for it.
There was supposed to be some kind of beet salad but it wasn't on the plate!
One of us had the Hungarian sauerkraut, it came with a gehakt ball that was more than 40% breadcrumbs, the flavour of the saurkraut was good but it was a small portion.
The cheese plate was laughable! Tiny little squares of pecorino and belgen, some small sliced of too cold, too young brie (no flavour) and more garnish and fruit than cheese - but it was only 5 euros, I would rather pay a bit more and get a bit better
The wine was fabulous - we had the most expensive which at 21 a bottle did not break the bank. it was a lovely Chilean Cabernet Sauvignon
Shame all the tap beers were so strong.
I don't think I'd go again.
They were really cool about us making a fair amount of noise while we played dice.
I recommend it for anyone with a low budget or if you've had some horrid experiences with people being rude or unfriendly but, if money isn't an issue , and you don't need a safe haven and would like some great nosh - try somewhere else

Medini Cafe @ Groninger museum

This placed typified everything that drives me crazy about this country and its version of service
Very nice placement over the water, the café is part of the iconic Groninger museum building. Inside leads directly into the museum with a sunny terrace outside.

The terrace doesn't have enough chairs! Two chairs per table is not enough. We spent the time we were there after we'd finally got somewhere to sit with all seven of us watching people play musical chairs without the music.
to add insult to injury - if you moved you were as near as damn it insulted and then humiliated by the waitress for messing up their ordering system. Which was also dreadful an average of 15 minutes to get a drink which is ridiculous especially when it was one beer which by the time it arrived had no head and was flat.

We arrived at 13.15 on a Saturday and ordered gin and tonics from someone who had no qualms making it non verbally very clear that she did not approve of the order! When the drinks arrived 20 minutes later there was no ice.
I asked for ice, the (different waitress to bring the drinks) avoided answering until the third request and finally as she was leaving she tossed over her shoulder that 'we don't have ice".
We dribbled out of the exhibition slowly and went back to the café - no new chairs, even more people standing around tables, waiting for others to leave to be able to use them and many people sitting around the big concrete placements for the umbrellas.

We ordered a fish and chips to stave of the hunger while everyone came back. It looked fantastic. the batter was way to thick and only just cooked in the middle and very sweet, the fish was in tiny blocks in the batter chewy and over cooked. The tartar/remoulade was way too sweet, too much dill, not enough gherkins and not enough for the fish and the chips. The chips were good - very small portion!

 Ordered a second round of g&t's and asked about the ice again to be told directly "we do not have or serve ice" I was gobsmacked and asked why - which was ignored.

When the drinks came they had no lemon - which I found really too much I asked for some lemon and for some reason also some ice. Everyone reminded me that the head waitress had already told us they didn't have it. At which point the (third) waitress came back with two glasses of ice with lemon in them!

So on top of being unfriendly, judgemental, rude, incompetent and surly they are also liars!

I put this review on google with a fat 1 star!

Exhibition 'DRAWING WORK' @ CBK Amsterdam Zuid Oost, Anton de Komplein 120, 1102 DR

Thursday 25^th February until 26^th March Donderdag 25 februari te zien t/m 26 maart

An exhibition with the work of 17 international artists about work and work experiences Een tentoonstelling met tekeningen van 17 internationale kunstenaars over werk-en arbeidservaring

Lezing: do 3 maart 17:30 tot 18:30 uur Tekenworkshop: zat 5 maart 14 tot 17 uur

Last night I went to the opening of the above – I had to go. I was commissioned by the curator and one of the contributing artists Siobhan Wall to write a couple of pieces about 'Work'. I did a text performance and the pieces are to be included in the exhibition.

I am writing a review, not because I was in it or because you can see some of my writing but because although, I spent a large part of the evening doing my best to drink as much red wine as possible, it was a super experience because the selections of work were brilliant, sometimes challenging, funny, inspiring and very thought provoking.

My absolute all time favourite(s) were the 3d cut outs by Marleen Kappe. These looked almost impossible to photograph (so I was like, if I can't take photos of this one/these why take any!). They showed industrial and possibly film or theatre work situations. They are so difficult to describe I'm not even going to bother saying any more than that. The link to her website will give you an idea but they honestly do need to be seen 'live' to really 'get them'. http://www.marleenkappe.nl/

I can't think of anyone other than Siobhan who would have included portraits of homeless refugees. No longer in danger of being sent back but denied the opportunity of working and contributing to the society to which they have been forced to flee. Not being able (allowed) to work is also relevant to exploring work.

There were a few of the works that really stood out for me. They made me spend the latter part of the evening travelling to and at the Bimhuis trying to convince everyone I spoke to to go and see.

I had struggled the whole evening between making photos and not doing so. There were a number of professional photographers, including Siobhan and I thought it was much better to try and get some of those to put with this review than twitting about with my mobile and doing everyone an injustice.

I like seeing art. I don't make enough time to do it. One of the reasons is I know so clearly what I like and why. I rarely see stuff that I like, so all most people (especially my partner) ever hear is me ripping someone or others work that I don't like to pieces. Last night was a welcome relief. I was 'mwah' about a fair amount, but the joy of finding so many exhibits that made me feel enthusiastic was wonderful.

One was a collection of doodles – they reminded me of stuff that I, my sister and partner do! Is there a basic doodling universal style? Loved that they were on post it notes and office paper. Some were free hand geometric later reproduced with compass and rulers. Most were pencil or pen and a small group were coloured in.

The cartoons exploring women, career, and parenting were really well drawn, spot on commentaries and hilarious.

A wall of images of black men was poignant, the text; words to the effect that they didn't want their photos taken so their mothers wouldn't know they were homeless but a drawing or painting was OK. Their inclusion was a super subtle, damning of our world.

Some of the art was from photographs – not really keen on that. I'm like, why bother? For a portrait OK but to present a a painting or drawing when it's always soooo obvious you're just reproducing a photo – I don't get it. You may call me a peasant.

Due to the amount of drinking, a lack of pen and paper and my reluctance to take photos with my phone. I didn't get (remember) the names of the other artists whose work I really liked.

Marleen Kappe has the opening Drie Tekeningen exposities the small format section 5^th March at Witteveen Visual art Centre 17.00

 and here's me reading with the photos of the processed asylum seekers as background

photos: Marleen Kappe and Siobhan Wall

Melizioso© dinner

Delicious food is my passion so I felt privileged this evening to be invited to partake of a Melizioso© dinner. The menu; coq au vin, sautéed mushrooms and pan fried crispy creamy polenta.

The coq au vin was truly amazing, multi layered flavours of an authentic chicken braised in wine sauce with veg. The texture of the slow cooked chicken thigh, flavoured and softened to fall off the bone was perfection. 

 

Many would of course not eat it but for the lovers of rich food... (if fat makes you squeamish skip the this line!) The beautifully browned and deliciously (never thought I would say that) soft skin was the perfect accompaniment to the meat. The divinely intricate flavouring of the sauce was rich, thick, with caramelised onion, slightly sweet omami, herby and permeated with a berry twanged wine. The rich brown colours of the sauce and onions were lifted by julienne carrots. Sauteed button mushrooms were cooked and served separately.

At some point in the past I decided that I like to separate starch and protein as a preference rather than a rule. As such I will in a meal with both, eat the protein first and find that an ideal second choice for after dinner digestion. I have also learnt that having seconds (of protein) trashes the work before. When offered seconds tonight I was amazed to find myself choosing to avoid risking a bloat so I could continue to enjoy the lingering play of the after flavours around my taste buds. Which is a prelude to describing the star of the evening.....

When I arrived for dinner Melissa apologised for the polenta, which she was frying as I entered. She had a vision in her mind of the polenta being much firmer but would have needed more hours in the day to have had the time to pre cook it earlier as needed. The fact that it had been very recently cooked gave the polenta the most amazing contrast between the crispy, cheesy pan fried exterior and the tasty, creamy interior. With the sauce and mushrooms it was the perfect foil and utterly delicious on it's own.

Melivision© provides artistic services; interior design, art and daughter company Melizioso© luckily for me, do food. An intimate dinner for two or not intimate with eight, a banquet, a (wedding) party, conference? Whatever the occasion, if you can't or don't want to make it your self you can get delicious, well made, healthy food with options for a huge range of diets. Coeliac, vegan, pescatarian? No problem! Carb free, gluten free, sugar free. No problem! 

 

Not being much into desserts and having foresworn chocolate you'd need to look elsewhere to find out about the apple and other fruit pies, brownies etc. but I will mention the pizza (she now also does a carb free verion!), the foccacia and the risotto.

However it's such a long time since I tasted her pasta I can't remember any more – hint, hint!

See -  https://www.facebook.com/Melivision2014

Cihan - Food centre Hoofdweg 578 a & b 1055AB Amsterdam NL

I've been going to the Cihan for more than 10 years but they just hit the third strike and they're out!

First was a while back, the manager I think, definitely someone who was asked to solve problems, was wearing a pair of the new fashionable low cut jeans, it looked like a family of spiders was crawling over the waistband. the mama was a giant piece of bum fluff and the babies were the hair springing out of him bum crack! I couldn't go back until this week. 

There was a new guy there, never seen him before. Began positive; the first time I ever went in there and didn't have to wait an age to get served at the deli counter. Bad news the guy was a jerk, the smallest container is now more than double the size it previously was and in addition to him totally ignoring the meaning of “just a small amount please”, he also hassled to sell more, I mean really hassled. I got to the till and found I had spent more than 30 euros!

I made a point of getting the receipt and for some reason, for the first time ever, when I got home I weighed everything I had bought. Not one of the weights that was on the receipt was the same. To be on the safe side I used both of our sets of scales to weigh them – the scales agreed with each other, neither agreed with the receipt both of them showed the ingredients as lighter.

To be fair I phoned the guy. He told me to come back the next day with photos but, made no promise to reimburse me, just to 'check it out'. 

Their scales seemed to be out about 15-40 grams on each item. All the ingredients cost the same kilo price (which has go up to 12.50!) I bought five items to be weighed but there were only 3 weights shown, the first one was 840 grams which is a lot, plus two more of over 250 and almost 300. There was no combination of the containers that came to the first sum and none of them singly were as much as the other two.

I will shop elsewhere. If you shop there, try weighing your stuff again at home!