De Plantage - Plantage Kerklaan 36, 1018 CZ

Let me start by saying that our at table waitress who took the orders was excellent, I tipped because of her! Even though she forgot my wine! She effortlessly and without eyebrow raising changed from my dodgy Dutch (grammatical flaws which floor a lot of people!) to English and back, with a smile and warmth. 

The natural, bearded, ginger who came to our first table forgot my companions order and returned, with quite a bit of attitude to ask if we were going to order a second drink only to have to go and sheepishly but slowly fetch it.

 That is the main issue they are SLOW!! I mean really slow, every order (especially the wine) took 7-11 minutes, the last wine took 17! I know I was checking!

It peeves me when the help think they have to regulate my drinking, it usually means they are too useless to deal with customers who drink too much. 

When I went to the w.c. I cold see three waiters just standing, waiting for the chef to finish making two long rows of plates (getting cold!) so they could take them to table. And yes our meal (we ordered the same) was seriously tepid, apart from the fried octopus. 

Normally I would have been impressed by the meal but having just got back from a road trip through Northern Spain and down to the Algarve, the 'roodbaars' with mussels and octopus (there was another fish mentioned in the bouillon which was supposed to be but was not on the plate) with celery root, was definitely above the general A'dam average standard. However in comparison, to the food I've eaten over the last month it was middle of the road served in a skinny girlie's portion. Typical case of the more you pay the less you get! The idea clearly, that you have room for (and need) dessert or leave hungry! 

In my painful experience the best of A'dam cuisine (No, I haven't eaten everywhere - if I find better I will say)  is over thought, stupid expensive, with little real 'feeling' for food, it can't touch the simplest Spanish plate of something cooked for taste, price and enjoyment. Those three will always beat a plate conjured from arrogance and no feeling for food, surely? aparantly the creme caramel Catalan style was perfectly executed - but y daughter can do that too!

The blonde who came to demand a dessert order was unbelievably rude - she sat down on the table next to us, was absolutely somewhere other than service oriented, unpleasant and obviously a bit stupid cos she didn't seem to know that a) croutons are carbs and b) that it is not the function of the staff to ignore clearly given requests. If she had said (as they do more often in restaurants,) that is not possible or we won't/don't do that, I would be fine but to completely ignore me and then try to lecture me with a fact that I know to be untrue?? Sad!

Perleeeze (please) Only in Amsterdam. 

I am sooo regretting tipping them at this moment

Optifit bra - update

Just over a year on and how's it going?

Alas ultimately disappointing.

I have ordered three, that's over €200 including postage. Which is not a ridiculous amount for something made to measure (if it fits). Two of them give me wicked shoulder ache (leading to headaches & migraines) - due to the weight of my breasts, incorrect fitting and according to the manufacturers, women's desire for 'lift' which HAS to be a part of the design.

The third bra I sent in my own natural fabric (silk) - why do bra makers offer only synthetics? I paid the same price as with them providing the material. When it came back, there was a comment about the fact it was material that frays. 

In my first sewing classes I was taught that you make extra large seams and double them over or cut the material with pinking shears to deal with fraying. They left seams that were neither large enough to fold over or re trim with shears - while sending back more than enough material  to have done so. Consequently despite infrequent hand washing the bra fell apart after four
washes.

I have recommended these bra's to three girlfriend's who have each bought one and we all agree that despite doing our utmost to follow the detailed measuring instructions, none of us believe we got it right and you probably need to be measured in person. Or possibly be way smarter than we are!!

I see that the new updated website gives an alternative to their measuring tape of three measurements to take and 'they will do the rest'.

Currently I am bitterly disappointed and loosing hope. Of the two bra's left, the hooks and eyes are damaged and almost unusable and the strap broke on one. I cannot tell which one I sent to have fixed and know I to pay another €15 for postage. Which sticks in my craw to do for items that ultimately are uncomfortable to wear.

The lack of comfortable, practical, undergarments, for women whose bodies do not fit a very narrow spectrum is proof enough of the misogyny in our society, that there are no women with the skills, who are willing to address/solve this shows how deeply ingrained in each of us is that hatred of self.

There are two other company's that I am going to try 'The BreastNest' apparantly in Ca. and The Healthy bra company..... Will keep you posted

Uber in Amsterdam Rip Off BEWARE!

The Uber drivers are rip off merchants. 

They (want/try to) take the ring road around Amsterdam at every given opportunity (usually unnecessarily) and try to spin that it is quicker because of avoiding traffic lights - which is blatantly untrue. 

  

The ride I took on a Sunday night was quoted at €15.60 from TCA Monday morning, Uber quoted 15 and the driver charged 21.46!

 Of the 7 times I have taken an Uber ride 5 of those times I have been charged more than it would cost to take an TCA (standard Amsterdam cab). The other two times were long distance to other cities and then it was cheaper. 

There is no way to contact Uber if you don't have the Ap, they are unhelpful via Twitter - only interested in compliments 

This company is unethical and clearly so are the people who work there. 

I can only guess that their attitude is that; when you're being paid slave wages you think you have a right to steal from the people using the service cos you see them as ripping you off 

 I had issues downloading Uber to my phone but a few of my friends have it so I have used their accounts. 

If it was my account I wouldn't pay but as it's my friend, I am forced to pay. 

But I have learnt my lesson! They are NOT cheaper, just cheap

Hajé restaurant de Lepelaar Lelystad, Netherlands

A very pleasant and unexpected surprise!

I will have to swallow my words regarding 'Dutch service' and change that to Amsterdam service! From the moment we walked in we were politely greeted, asked by each person who served us our opinion on our food, drinks and service.

On the way out, I listened as one women complained about her meal and was almost shocked when she was told it would be instantly replaced and she didn't have to pay!

There is a wide choice of seating places with subtly different atmosphere outside and inside all separated from each other by glass walls. The whole restaurant has glass walls on the outside so it is very light.

The surroundings are green, lush well tended. Around the outside dining area there were lovely flowers growing and a nice view on such a fabulous warm spring evening.

The service was quick, the food and the portions were really good. The wine was above average. The prices were less than you would pay in Amsterdam for the same and everything was better than I have come to expect!

They had the most delicious, crunchy sweet potato chips (patat/fries)

The lowest point of the menu was the tomato soup. If you order a main course instead of costing 6 euros the soup is only 2! it would have been rude to refuse. It is self service and we shared the bowl and were satisfied, The soups were all a bit gloopy and the texture of the mini meat balls in the tomato was very dubious but it was tasty and very hot. The fact that you didn't have to wait for it was also a plus.

The large, tender, schnitzel I ordered came with mixed root vegetables; multi coloured carrots, swede (possibly turnip!) and diced courgette. My companion ordered the half a chicken and it was not small! Succulent, well flavoured and served with peas and diced smoked bacon, there was more bacon than peas I reckon! And the side of sweet potato chips. With a sparkling water, a glass of red, wine, one beer it came to 45 euros! Bear in mind this in on a motorway next to a filling station! I seriously was impressed.

The menu is very health conscious with the possibility to order a low carb meal! or change you meal to vegetarian or even vegan.

They aim to make it low additive, sugar, gluten and the quiona they use is grown in NL!!!

There was only one fish restaurant open in Urk and I am glad with gave it a miss and found this little treasure instead. Dunno when we're likely to be in the area again but if you are - I highly recommend it!! - Which is very rare!!

Saravanaa Bhavan Stadhouderskade 123, Amsterdam

The only reason I am giving this place such a low mark is because the pricing is ridiculous!


Yes, it is good, authentic Southern Indian cuisine, the service is good and friendly.

 Though I of course get collywobbles from the older white man (maitre d') in charge with all the brown people running around doing the real work.

There is a massive turn over. The style is quick in, quick out, places are just off on top of each other, bright lights, no table cloths. The decor, service and ambiance do not justify €5 for 330mls of beer! 

The portions are adequate, not generous. Our food was tepid when it arrived - fairly quickly - The gobi masala was middling, the naan was mediocre, the puri was fab. I ordered two chilli dishes mushrooms and paneer, both dishes came as an unidentifiable brown mass, without any heat in either (clearly geared to Dutch taste).  

It was tasty, good, authentic but below the standard of places (including their own franchise that I've been to in the UK where the same dishes cost ₤2-6 compared to around the €10-12 they ask here.

 

 Two people, two breads, three dishes, four beers €60? - You're taking the piss!

Byron Burgers High Holborn

–Apart from a place in Berlin – see my review blog – these are the best burgers in my humble opinion. You can order them to your taste and they are exactly that rare is rare, medium is medium and well done is....

Great vegetarian and vegan options!

In general I don't like beef and I'm not as a rule a fan of burgers but if I see Byron even with their London pricing I make an exception to my rules!

I love the fact that it's not a problem to skip the bun and that you get a generous baby leaf salad as a replacement. 

The additional toppings/sides and sauces are my major downfall. They have 2 types of bacon, 6 types of cheese, chillis or jalapenos, fried (crispy) onions, portobello muschroom and avocado! Here you get a (whole) half avo! To date they have all been good sized, perfectly ripe specimens.

I ordered the cheese burger Emmentaler – I got blue cheese but that was because I kept changing my mind. We had courgette and sweet potato chips (fries) both of which are fabulous, with chipotle mayonnaise.

The service is good; friendly, attractive staff. Anywhere else in the world they would be expensive, but this is central London so the prices are standard.

My companion is vegetarian and had doubts about going to a burger bar. I swore that the portobello and goat cheese burger – which I've had  - would amaze. I said don't bother with the veggie burger – which I actually haven't tried – I received thanks and praise way after the meal was finished!

The beers are pricey and not great but you can have tap water – also un chilled at no extra cost. But I don't drink, especially not cold water when I am eating – nasty habit!

https://www.byronhamburgers.com/

Hiba - High Holborn, London

Officially Hiba Express (there are three around London) – Lebanese and Palestinian

An utter delight!!

The lunch time service was quick and efficient.

There are Vegetarian and vegan options 

The waiters were without fail incredibly friendly, helpful and cute! 

The place is quite small but the placement of th tables feels intimate without being crowded.

A major start and extra brownie points for the complimentary (with regards from the chef!), super delish aubergine salad (baba ganoush) served as a starter with flatbread, oilve oil, fresh parsley and pomegranate.

I ordered marinated lamb with was a generous portion of melt in your mouth, perfectly cooked and well flavoured chunks of meat, served again with flatbread and minted onions. 

For ₤1 you are practically forced to take a side dish. I was very happy to have a salad with it again generous, fresh and as tasty as chopped lettuce, tomatoes and cucumber get, it complimented the onions and meat excellently.

My companion ordered a vegetarian mousaka which was nothing like the Greek version. A generous bowl of thick, nose orgasmic stew with lots of aubergine and other vegetables, which extended the pleasure from the nose to the mouth and then stomach!

Standard prices for that area of London

http://www.hiba-express.co.uk/hiba-express/

http://www.activehealthcenter.nl/ - Lilith Turk

My Body

My body was a burden
Until I met Lilith Turk
It was a vessel that carried my rage
I fed it with the hatred my food became
I drank until it wept then drugged it to numbness
I ate to not speak of the pain and loneliness
I gave it to others to mishandle and disrespect
Treatment this body had learnt to expect

Then I walked into a class Lilith, led by you.

Something changed at that moment

There came something new

My body was always the bringer of strife
My body until that moment was the bane of my life
The lump of flesh with which I was cursed
That reflected the misery of my mind, of my birth

When I do therapeutic stretching with Lilith Turk
My body is still a bringer of pain
The pain of information long held restrained
Muscles are messages of areas ignored
Tell of whole territories yet to be explored
My body has become a field of possibilities
Journey's beckon, oceans are made from seas

Only concentration and application are necessary
To accomplish the voyages stretching before me
My body has still its limitations

They are now challenges to be negotiated.

When I get down, consumed by depression and self hate

Which manifests in isolation. I cannot participate.

Still I struggle to find the compassion for myself.

Know I need to stop the thoughts churning, take the time to return

To connect with my body, to communicate and re learn.

Financial competence is my second largest learning curve

You wiped that away to let me work on my first

Lilith you are an avatar of Body Self Connection

Your stretching classes are a living message

To the body/self, to embrace, to love, to spurn rejection.

I cannot truly describe or repay the gifts you have given

My simple, maybe feeble response is these words I have written

My a deep and heartfelt wish is to express  my gratitude - Thank You.

Eetcafé Knabbel en Babbel Europaplein 59, Amsterdam

Unfortunate experience

Great service, Jordy (the owner?) barman is fabulous; charming, friendly, efficient, service oriented.

The prices are reasonable for where it is situated. Lots of customers come from the exhibition centre (Rai) across the road. But there are also loads of locals and regulars enjoying the warmth of Jordy's welcome in the cosy international atmosphere. 

The food looked good. We were drinking wine a light tempranillo and a delicious Malbec which I still find pricey at 4.25 a glass ('luxe' wine according to the menu!) 

Eventually we ordered (hot) chips which were good, especially as we got them with (free) aioli as well as mayo, which we didn't touch. 

A bit later (on our 3rd glass of wine, bought for us by Jordy!) we ordered cheese sticks. They came with a sauce that tasted like cheap ketchup with extra sugar and a smidgen of spice (I thought it was nasty but apparently it's very popular with the locals).

Alas both me and my friend had the runs all night and into the morning, which made our last day working at the Rai hell!

We had a great evening and Jordy is fabulous but not sure if I'll be returning.

Tapas Cafe Duende, Lindengracht 62, Amsterdam

Ultimately disappointing. 

We had to seat ourselves. The tables are quite awkwardly placed to get a double row of places, some tables are a bit claustrophobic. 

The waitress who came to serve us didn't speak Dutch, then pointedly ignored our table for the rest of the evening. 

The service is slow, poor yet better than average in Amsterdam, which is saying little as the average is appalling.

The waiter when he came, gave us a lecture about waste, we were told not to order all our food at once. We had to place our original order in two lots instead of one – which I guess was nice in terms of them being hot. But he never came back again. By the time I flagged someone else to come and serve us the kitchen was closed and apparently the peppers, had run out anyway. 

The guy came back and offered tortilla 'as compensation'. I would never order tortilla. Stupidly I accepted. The hot sauce with it, was nice but it was the worst tortilla I have ever had (except the one my mate Sue made with cold Dutch chips (frites), made with mashed potatoes, tasteless, practically eggless so it fell apart with every forking!  So much for compensation (and his good review) we were charged full price for it!!!

There was flamenco singing and dancing at the back of the restaurant in a private room but, no way to watch and eat, being hungry we chose to eat and judging by the cheers missed a great show.

In general, it is expensive, not particularly authentic  (Croquettes are more of a Dutch staple than Spanish surely) the service is snail pace, except at the end when they want their money, though friendly. They clearly have a good client base and support that, it seemed to me, to the detriment of trying to build or extend it with their care of new customers.

The lamb chops were good, minuscule but tasty, though two of the three were over cooked to my taste. The veg was piping hot, over oiled and undercooked which worked well with the mange tout, asparagus, paprika and courgette but was a dismal failure with the aubergine. 

No one can make a mess of whitebait, it was a decent sized portion bearing in mind that their tapas are overpriced. I am not keen on sardines, the sauce was nice though there were some scales on both fish. The codfish croquttes tasted excellent but they are still 90% spud and fairly uninteresting eating. I didn't even bother with the second lot they brought instead of either the fried cheese or prawn croquettes we actually ordered. My mates couldn't work out what they were made of... Vegetarian? Cheese? Spinach?

The menu said they had 2013 Syrah but they served a bottle of 2011, with no excuse or apology and didn't mention that the bottom of the bottle was sediment laden. On the bill they tried to charge us for an extra two glasses of wine in addition to the bottle.

They served my mineral water with ice (very irritating American habit) without asking or coming back so I could get rid of it.

It is not a bad restaurant and will remain very popular with the locals and regulars. However for me, my maxim 'don't go out to eat in Amsterdam if you're hungry' still holds true. Here yet again the price to quality to service ratio, while better than your average Amsterdam central location eatery still leaves much to be desired.

Sons of Kemet

The music is composed by an old soul in the young body of a younger than they look, mixed heritage, 32yr old. When I say mixed heritage, I don't mean in terms of the colour of skin but in the fact that they was raised in the UK and the Caribbean. A truly international entity who seems to have travelled and created music on every continent, in a wide swathe of countries in their exploration of an undoubtedly exceptional talent as both a musician and a person.

The music of the sons of Kemet is deeply based in African rhythms and all their derivatives, Latin, Caribbean and much touted use of the Arabic music scale but you can read or hear about the structure and forms of the music from people far better qualified than I am in their other reviews.

I had been wanting to dance madly since the middle of December, it was my sadly thwarted wish for New Year. I had attempted on at least five occasions from the 26^th onwards to find some music that took me to the space – where my body and feet take over and I just don't care – The one place I never expected that to happen was the Bimhuis!

The space is small and pretty inappropriate for dancing and I having moved to sit near some friends and 'watch' – like you're supposed to – was in completely the wrong place for it. But once they started playing I could not remain seated. The music carried me away, it is soulful, energetic, intricate, complex, deeply melodic in a strange kind of sense. There is a feeling of watching the creation take place. It is composed yet, you can feel and see the band members 'playing' and communicating with each other as the rhythms fly you away. Each member of the band brings a shining facet to the interlaced layering, that is so individual to the way the music is played/created).

I checked them out before I went – obviously. The videos of 'In the Castel Of My Skin' recorded in Gauteng, South Africa, (this clip is impressive, none of the band appear in it, it is as if the music has been handed over to the expression of the song) 'Play Mass' (disappointed in the unnecessary objectification on this vid cos the rest of it is stunning), and their live recording at the Vortex Club in London of 'Beware' and Inner Babylon are now regular playing/viewing in my home!

In the latter my one criticism is I think fairly clear, which is Shababka's tendency to speak indistinctly – which may not be a problem to your average London audience but I would be very surprised if more than a few of the audience in the Bimhuis understood his invitation to dance to their music!

Though not all the pieces were introduced, they all clearly have names. This music is like listening to and encapsulates time, a space, feeling, a happening.

I was lucky enough to be able to engage three of them in conversation,which was lots of fun and quite exhilarating. When speaking as with watching the band, each member brings a facet, an interlaced layer, that is so individual to the way the music is played and created

Tom is currently the oldest in the band and the best kind of autodidact. He's been playing drums since he was 9 and jazz since the age of 14. I asked him if he had been to music school or hand any kind of jazz training his answered that his music is part of him, indivisible from the whole. He just lives and embodies everything that training aims to give. Theon and Shabaka both went to Guildhall.

The commucation on stage and off between them is a privilege to behold. The music is so much the best of what the 21^st century can offer. Dancing jazz, rhythmic, varied, soulful. They have to be HUGE and soon I cannot imagine anything else.

In the last two years they have played often in Europe (worrying a bit about Brexit). They work in different combinations of extraordinary music creation. I heard many people talking about having seen the various band members in different line ups all over the NL Jazz and festival scene. My companion had seen Tom playing with Seb Rochford (who was absent for the Bimhuis gig) in Polar Bear for instance.

On top of being superlative musicians, these are also some of the most friendly, pleasant, warm, engaging and engaged young men I have met in a very long time. Unspoiled, completely bereft of the arrogance of many jazz musicians and very talented, moderately successful young people. They are walking compliments to their parents, teachers and environment

On this cold, bitter winter evening to be cocooned in the rhythms, feeling and warmth of Africa within the knowledge, luxurious comfort and safety of a European context was magical.

I cannot recommend this band highly enough for listening, dancing, watching and talking to

If you love to dance – this is the band for you, If you are a proponent of an admirer, a lover of new experimental, shape forming, mind travelling jazz this is it. If you love drums and rhythm – don't look any further!

This is music of the best our mixed, matched, integrated and mash up society, deeply rooted in the learning, pain and lessons of the 20^th century reformed for the 21^st.

Sons of Kemet – Rock! - If you get what I mean, it is great jazz!!