The Salmon of Doubt - Douglas Adams

'… have you ever known anybody to die at the right time?

No, don't happen that way. Some guys fall over before their lives have properly gotten started,

some right in the middle of the best part. Others kinda linger on after everything is really

over.' George R R Martin

My dear, dear C gave me 'The Salmon of Doubt' a book put together of Douglas Adams writing after he died. I love the Hitchikers guide to the Galaxy but I did find it very 'British public school boy; Aren't I clever?'. I liked the two Dirk Gently novels much better and to be honest there are many British writers I prefer. Adams wrote as he was and of course all the other clever British public school boys miss him and think he was a genius – which they all think of each other btw. Do note how many of the foremost members of British public and political life all went to school together and do tell me what you think of our class system as it thrives.

e.g. Lily Allen's dad is Keith Allen, another clever boy who incidentally went to the same school as Adams, her brother is Theon/Rank in HBO's The Game Of Thrones, notably peppered with the British Peerage etc., etc., et al, ad nauseum.

All the above aside, Adams was a sharp, observant, intelligent writer who placed his social criticism carefully and subtly within the context and storyline of his books, never lecturing just showing or putting a small spotlight on certain issues for those who are open to them

His blatant advertising for Apple in the book (who I loathe) turns my stomach. I hope it earned him some freebies. The middle section of the book which is, it seems all about computers and people who have the time and money to indulge themselves in them (though as I skipped lots of it I can say for sure) was tedious – obviously because or I would have read it.

I don't make myself 'read the whole book' any more. I used to. Now I skip if I'm liking the authors style and just don't like a subject matter of a bit of the plot (like mutilations (of women), or murders etc – I always record programs like GOT so that I can skip through the gratuitous violence or sex I those too!)

Reading Salmon did however inspired me to write again and to start amoungst others this blog.

For those of you who haven't read it. I'm really delighted to share some of his thoughts with you...

“I used to hide under the bedclothes … and listen enraptured to … anything that made me laugh. It was ike showers and rainbows in the desert. …..comedy was a medium in which extremely intelligent people could express things that simply couldn't be expressed any other way.

But nowadays everybody is comedian... We laugh at everything. Not intelligently anymore, not with sudden shock, astonishment or revelation, just relentlessly and meaninglessly. No more rain showers in the desert just mud and drizzle everywhere occasionally illuminate by the flash of paparazzi.

To my embarrassment, I remember and also laughed at the joke that started his disillusion with comedy.

...It was hearing a stand up comedian make the following observation: “Those scientists eh? They're so stupid! ..those black box recorders they put on aeroplanes.... it's always the thing that doesn't get smashed. So why don't they make the planes out of the same stuff?

The audience roared with laughter at how stupid scientists were.... but I sat feeling uncomfortable..... Was I just being pedantic...flight recorders are made out of titanium if you made planes from titanium instead of aluminium they'd be far too to heavy to get off the ground.....?...There was no way of deconstructing the joke that didn't rely on the teller and audience complacently conspiring together to jeer at at someone who knew more than they did. It sent a chill down my spine and still does. I felt betrayed by comedy in the same way that gangsta rap makes me feel betrayed by rock music.

*

The only one who couldn't make a joke to save his life was Shakespeare. Maybe it's because our greatest writing genius was incapable of being funny that we have decided that being funny doesn't count.

What Wodehouse writes is pure word music. … He is the greatest musician of the English language.

Beauty doesn't have to be about anything

Healthy Choices: one on one yoga lesson

I cannot recommend the one on one yoga lesson from healthy Choices Sinead Daly highly enough.

http://www.healthychoices.nl/ 
 

€60 per hour and you can go with as many a three (or four I think!)

 The class, was long enough, helpful, incisive, challenging. Sinead is very calm, her voice is soft yet carries perfectly. Her demonstrations are easy to follow. She is supportive, encouraging and very softly pushes a little for that extra bit of effort. The instructions are clear, the reminders to breathe come exactly when needed, also how to focus to create space to be able to relax.

There is no one else so everything goes at ones own pace. It really is about the conversation one has with your own body. The session was like the difference between having a one to one with a friend or finding that you are competing for their attention in a group.

I had done some yoga classes in the past but usually found the atmosphere in most impossible to bear. Being a fuller figure I felt I got dirty looks in a busy class 'taking up room for 2'!

Then I found Therapeutic Stretching with Lilith Turk, it is brilliant.

An accident, a move, a virulent (on going) case of chalk toenails and somehow I haven't been to a class in years. Again it's getting over the barrier of the group. Arriving early enough to get a good spot, being able to get changed and out quickly and unable to avoid the social aspect.

At Sinéad's beautiful 1st floor apartment and studio I had the option of a massage - next time maybe (could also have had psychotherapy or hypnomassage!) But I am so happy that I chose the yoga. I couldn't have made a better decision for my head/mind/spirit or my body.

Otto Lungi - Islington

It's not the kind of place that you could normally drag me into but I was with two mates who didn't actually offer a choice and for them it was the obvious place to go.

It's quite small there is a long table down the centre and lots of tables and chairs, they were all full. We were told we had just 40 minutes until closing time but were welcome to order.

I don't drink coffee for political reasons so I try to avoid anywhere that magnetizes picky coffee addicts and they give me a queasy feeling in my stomach! Unfortunatley my two mates are indeed picky, unashamed coffee addicts, which leads to interesting discussions and for me a need to drink alcohol!

The wine menu is of course excellent and the waiter was happy to discuss the various merits of the wines but I tend to know what I like and go for countries as much as grape sorts.

I have to say although my hackles rise at the price of food (and pretty much everything else) in London the standard of the food and service make this a very reasonable place to go. Apparently it's a favourite of theatre buffs heading for the Almeida, which is just across the road.

The Salads were exquisite, perfectly cooked aubergine with yoghurt dressing, broccoli with chillies and garlic, and a mixed bean green salad which all very delicious with the last being superlative, we had ordered a large salad and our friends a small one but we ended up with the small salad because they brought the large with a basmati salad and coleslaw, which I refused to eat as the rice was a little under cooked (In my opinion grains are supposed to be firm yet soft not nutty - only nuts as supposed to be nutty) and the coleslaw had more fruit than cabbage in it (YUK!)

The potions are reasonable to fairly generous and as I said the service from our Italian waiter and the maitre d' was excellent; friendly, chatty, helpful.

As I said at the beginning there are a lot of tables/people in quite a small space but it it light and has a feeling of space but any less of either and the priced would undoubtedly be higher.

Three coffees, one glass of wine, one small and one large salad came to just over forty quid.

Byron proper hamburgers Shoreditch

It said proper hamburgers, I passed it on my way to buy a ukulele case. On the way back I decided I needed a treat so I went in.

It wasn't busy, there are a lot of tables in there. The menu was a stunner, including an explanation of why your beer is served in cans! What can I say? They do indeed make well proper hamburgers.

The service was excellent, unobtrusive but I was checked twice during the meal to make sure I was happy. In a way I wish I hadn't been so I know how they deal with issues but everything was fabulous, though I probably shouldn't have had the second beer.

I ordered 'Le Smokey' with chipotle mayo instead of chilli bbq sauce - no problem and no extra charge - with extra jalapenos and portobello mushroo, no bun  which meant that you automatically get a side salad which was great, baby spinach, beet greens and rucola, toms, cuke, a piquant yet smooth, herby dressing and not too much of it. (No bun is called a skinny burger, I couldn't bring myself to actually call it that and I'm sure the waitress had a twinkle in her eye when she said it!) The burger was a perfect medium, the portobello juicy, a serious portion of jalapenos and the chipotle mayo really tasted of chipotle. I had courgette chips and was seriously impressed by houw good they were, I make them at home but these wiped the floor with mine. two cans of Brooklyn lager 35,5 mls and 5,2% served in an iced glass and a second glass was no problem, when I asked for it (though I wasn't offered it).

It's the trendy end of London so it came to just under 30 quid with a tip which means that it's not like an American burger at all in the sense that they are not only great but usually cheap too!

http://www.byronhamburgers.com/menu

Art Expo at Number 3, Deptford, London -27th March 2015

I think it would be only fair to say a great night was had by all!

Number 3 is an up and coming venue Sarf of the river, in the desperately up-marketable Deptford. New posh housing projects are scrambling into the sky all over the Borough of Lewisham. It's accessibility to the City, East and West End, to Hackney and the Deep South (via the East London line overground) and zone two status are encouraging developers to try to market the former 'murder mile' as THE place to be. (As long as you avoid all contact with the locals!)

This former warehouse forms a mini Mecca with sister venues The Big Red and the Birds Nest pub all within spitting distance at the beginning of Creek Rd. 

This area has been named Rocklands for a reason there are a plethora of venues playing every kind of music you could want from the Jazz, spoken word, rock, blues open mic nights to bands galore and festivals. For the eaters there is a true world cuisine Chinese, Jamaican, Indian, Vietnamese traditional and modern English encompassed in the High Street and surroundings

Enuf about Deptford! Number 3's mini festival show cased and highlighted, local festivals (Brockley Max, Cross Wires), artists, photographers, theatre company  (Glass Moon) bands ( I especially loved Cat, Bear, Tree), the great spaces available, the super supportive staff and a delicious new Spanish beer.

And there's no point hiding my light under a bushel. Number 3 sponsored 'Musically Magical Moments' to great success - but no reviews as yet. An unique experience that can de stress, revitalize or just carry you away and bring you back safely in 10 minutes!

Number3london.co.uk - Glassmoontheatre.com - Brockleymax.co.uk - catbeartree.bandcamp.com

The Forge (& Foundry) Delancy St Camden London

It's a great location, easily accessible. Decor/layout - fantastic, the music - superlative, dancing space - excellent; Ultimately unimpressed with the place because once you get past the former, the food and the staff's level of service orientation are actually the most important aspects of any venue and both of these were in a very sorry state the night I went. 21st Jan 2015

Luckily the bar staff were so shit, I had great contact with many of the other customers - nothin like contempt for a third party to bring two parties together!
The space is excellently designed with a stunning green wall of living healthy plants - sorely in need of a good cleaning. There is a glass roof that angles into 2 metres of glass wall that backs a mezzanine/balcony. that though not in use that evening would be a fabulous place to dine. It must give 100% available daylight to the plants

At first glance the drinks are great value. Happy hour from 5-0, w shots with mixer for 6 quid, a single is 4. After 9pm it only goes up to 6.50. the problem is that the doubles are no way doubles!. firstly the strengh of the drinks in terms of taste varied every drink but the amount of ice was constant and you can't fit that amount of ice and a double and a mixer in a glass the size they were using.

After 6 doubles even dancing as much as we did and my capacity for spirits my level of sobriety and ability to speak and think lucidly wee barely grazed. I knew I was right when I didn't even get vaguely bolshy at the appalling treatment I recieved from the bar staff and the fact I held a tune in the taxi on the way
 home!

Presuming that they used the smallest legal measure in the UK a double spirit should be a minimum of 50ml(max of 70ml) 300ml (6 small doubles). The glasses were under probably about 300ml size. Try it fill a glass that size with ice, then add your mixer - normally a mixer is 1.5 - 4 times the amount of spirit, now try and see how much spirit you can fit into the glass. The put the spirit in last and didn't stir so the first drink was heady but, we were drinking gin and tonic and I always stir and squeeze the lemon.

I didn't bother complaining, the band were fabulous and I had so much fun with the other customers also complaining about them in front of them I thought that was enough compensation.

The bar was busy, not helped by the fact that the staff were the worst trained I've come across in years in London. The lack of consistency in strength of the drinks made it worthwhile waiting for one of the staff, the price difference made it worthwhile waiting for another one. Every body tried to avoid getting served by two of them who were rude, preferential - one only wanted to serve pretty girls the other pretty boys, they also charged the most and served the weakest drinks!

It says that it's restaurant but the kitchen was closed before 9pm and the only thing available was a "Pork sausage roll"which looked like good value for 3.50 in that it was a fairly large slice. The pastry was good! I mean excellent actually with a % of lard and the rest butter, light melt in your mouth but held it's shape. The meat on the other hand had been good at some point, possibly 2 days previously. This was apparant in that despite the texture being like straw encased in cardboard if you chewed bravely on, it eventually disintegrated and went down.

The bar staff lied about the roll - which they said was delicious. so either they ate it hot, straight out of the over or with some kind of a sauce or they were just liars.

Don Giovanni Borg

If you ever find yourself travelling overland between Mainland Europe and Denmark you will either cross the bridge or take the ferry in Germany. The ferry is shorter and more expensive. Most people don't realise that the port of Puttgarden is actually on an Island called Fehmarn, which is linked to the mainland by a bridge. Roughly half way between the bridge and the port, to the East of the E47 is the small town of Burg (Auf Fehmarn). http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fehmarn.
After a long drive we decided to stay as close to the Ferry as possible for the night before setting off earlyish the next day for the last 600 km of our journey. The town greeted us with an incredible display of Xmas lights and a 'kerstmarkt' still in business, though clearly it was just mates hanging out at the end of a day of fun.
Most of the stalls were out of food or had closed for the night but the mulled wine and the beer were as always in Germany seemingly unabating. But it was December and cold so when we had shared the one sausage that was left at the stall we had chosen and drunk 2 cold beers we looked for our companions who had adjourned inside.

I had hoped that they would be in the Greek restaurant recommended by the hotel and also nearest to the marktet. We found them further along in an Italian. We walked into the restaurant, saw them, headed towards them and began to move to a larger table. The waiter came through and offered us a menu. We said "thank you" as the other three practically yelled
"No!" We looked at them and said that we respectively wanted pizza and pasta as half a sausage was not going to keep us going til the breakfast buffet.

What followed was a masterpiece of salesmanship with a basis in a product of the highest quality that needs to be shared. Disappointment with my companions made me  determined to repay the impeccable hosting with a massive review for the BEST alio olio I have had out in YEARS! Absolutely delicious.

Great service - the waiter could sell sand to a Bedouin! He sold us an amazing anti pasti for 5 in which every single thing was exquisite and scrumptious.

We ordered a salami pizza - which someone who 'wasn't hungry' scoffed quickly without offering any one else a taste! He threw a mini wobbly because there was no oregano (with an American accent). The waiter came with a small bowl of fresh super aromatic herb. When that had been added 'his majesty' said it was  the best pizza he'd had in more years than he could remember.
The rucola pizza that was piquant and still tasty the next night! (don'tknow why they call it rucola when the main ingrdiend is ham) And of course my alio olio.
The wine was pretty good (though I'm not over keen on Chianti).

Then came a tiramisu for 5! - I rarely do desserts and had definitely over eaten to finish my pasta - but it was it was ordered and eaten by a dement who claimed to have a gluten allergy, shared by someone who

'couldn't eat a thing' but clearly felt obligated to support idiocy! It lasted less than 5 minutes and looked like a fairy tale come true!

I had ordered a glass of house red wine, which came in a small carafe of about 1/4 litre, very passable. We also ordered a bottle of Chianti classico, 2 large beers, 2 small beers and one specialist beer.

The whole thing was ridiculously cheap, worth much much more than we paid!

It seems quite incredible to me but their rating on google is 2.2.  - 19 reviews mostly 1 star. It may have gone up slightly thanks to my addition.

Having 'read' some of the reviews (they're in German) I get the idea their delivery service sucks



Don Giovanni  Am Markt 28 23769 Burg auf Fehmarn